To The Dreamer...

Since my last blog posting almost a month ago I've had a touch of ‘writers block’.  I’ve written a couple of small snippets for a book I’m working on but nothing very substantial. The reason behind this is a combination of factors. First off, I've had a rather hectic month. A very rather poor excuse I know, however, in the past forty days I've attended two weddings, one of which I was the best man for, organised and attended a stag do, had my, my fathers, my step-mothers and house mates birthday all to squish in. Secondly, and probably more importantly I don’t want to write dross and I do tend to write dross when I don’t have any real ideas.  I’m also fully aware that if I write about things I have no interest in, then that becomes transparent, if not to the general audience at least to me.  I sat at my desk thinking these thoughts and staggeringly the inspiration for this month came to me. You see it’s not just writing that suffers when I am not interested it’s everything, work, relationships, even sex. If your hearts not in it, it’s probably just not going to be that good. More to the point it will not be excellent, and excellence is what we should all at least strive for.

This got me thinking further, by now, the old grey matter was beginning to thaw out. If excellence is dependent on what I do, why am I not dictating what I do more vigorously? All I can say is, I honestly don’t know.

There are certain people who believe, no one does a job they enjoy. This is frankly utter crap, and an ideology made up by un-happy cynics and those who have given up. I hope the very writing of this article exempts me from this group, even if just for the moment. I met someone recently who does a job they love. A job they have wanted to do since they started university and are now actually doing it.  It’s a beautiful thing. You can’t help admire anyone who does a job for the best part of twelve hours a day and not only doesn’t moan, but is happy about it. One day, I too hope to fall asleep from pure exhaustion and contentment like they seem to do, following a job well enjoyed and done.

When I was younger I wanted to be an artist. I drew, I painted, I mused a fair bit, okay, a lot. I gave it up, as with other things at various stages of my life, because I was hit by an overwhelming sense of realism, and that the things I loved doing would not make me any or enough money. When I gave up on art I was about fourteen. Similarly when I was about twenty I wanted to be a photographer. I tried volunteer work, took pictures for my student union paper and a local free magazine, but ultimately I gave up to take a masters degree in business. Hardly inspirational, unless of course you’re a capitalist and then it could be.

So what’s my point? Is it that I’m a sell out? I am a sell out, but that doesn’t need to be a permanent state, and that actually isn’t my point. My point is, what if all the dreamers throughout history had stopped dreaming? Let’s start with a literal example perhaps, Martin Luther king for instance. What if he followed up the words “I have a dream”, with “But I also have a mortgage to pay, so let’s not rock the boat too much”.  Nelson Mandela, had a dream and a twenty seven year prison sentence to boot and he never gave up.  Athletes, footballers, X-factor contestants, Einstein, Columbus, Neil Armstrong all have or had dreams.  Most dreamers will fail, but some won’t.  Musicians (I don’t include X-factor contestants as musicians, in the same way McDonalds doesn’t count as food) don’t suddenly become famous, they work, they dare, they dream, they achieve. Sentimental mushy crap, I know. But I’m right. The problem is some people often see the end product of many years of labour and assume things are easy. Things are not easy, dreams are hard, but giving up won’t help.

How many people, and it would be really funny if you actually stick your hand in the air at this point, wanted to do the job they are doing now when they were little. How many people at the age of ten, wanted to work as a banker, a lawyer or an accountant? I’m guessing not many, and if you did want to be accountant at ten I genuinely feel sorry for you. A question for any male readers; How many of you after watching Top Gun for the first time wanted to be a pilot, after watching Batman a Superhero, or Harry Potter a slightly annoying little wizard? I’m guessing there are a fair few hands in the air now.

Okay, so granted aspirations change as you get older, that’s a natural part of growing.  However, growing doesn’t need to mean growing cynical!  Don’t give up on the things you love, even if you’re laughed at, discouraged or mocked. If you really love doing something then it won’t matter if you make a living out of it or whether you’re even that good at it. If it makes you happy keep going.  That’s why I write, because it makes me happy. It allows me to express myself, and despite the fact that I would love to get published one day, that is not why I do it. There is this amazing part in the book (and film) High Fidelity, where the protagonist, who for those of you who haven’t read it is a music buff, girlfriend manages to persuade him to do a live music night to publicise a record he is paying to get recorded. He doesn’t want to do it, but she convinces him by making him understand that once he does it, he’ll no longer just a critic, a hack, a bystander.  Instead, he will become part of the music scene, irreversibly so. He will have contributed, given, enriched (hopefully) to the very thing that he loves the most.  That is how I feel about literature. I will probably never be able to construct characters like Oscar Wilde, discuss social barriers and change like George Orwell or frankly tell a good story like the above referenced Nick Hornby, but I don’t think that matters. Sure, I’d love to do all of those things, but that’s not what it’s about for me. If I can get just a handful of people to read what I write and engage with it, then realistically that’s probably enough. Of course I want more, but I’d carry on doing it anyway.

 So for people who dream big, for people who want to change things, people who want to build things, write things, makes things, draw things, photograph things, tell things, to all those who want to achieve more and are pro-active about it, to people who want to make the world a better place, to  the people who want to help other people,  to all those who have woken up one morning and thought, ‘I can do better’ and have...to everyone who wants to be something they’re not, and is not sure they’ll ever be, but tries anyway,  to all of you I say this, dreamers I salute you!